*Let me preface this by saying that I am by no means a junk food junkie, but for some reason, I have never really had control with those foods like chips & dip, cookies, chocolate and appetizer-y things at parties. I have worked hard the past 3 years to be able to partake in these foods without fear of gorging, and the expected guilt to follow.*

So, I did ok at my friend’s house yesterday food wise. I grazed a bit, but we ended up being there almost 12 hours (we got there at 2 for her daughter’s bday party, and pretty much stayed until 2am with other friends). Even though I did have some good cheddar cheese, and she had veggies out for the dip, I still feel like I have a food hangover right now. I ended up having a couple small handfuls of peanut m&m’s by later in the evening. I had been staring at them off an on since we got there, and I honestly should have just asked them if we could put them away once the kids’ party was over. I still don’t have complete confidence to assert myself that way. They’re great friends and probably would have had no problem doing it, I just didn’t ask.

The annoying part came when we left, my stomach started to feel like garbage. Now, I know I had only had two small glasses of wine, so it was no way alcohol induced “ickiness”. I just knew that even though I had eaten in OK portions for the day, I still had some salt and refined sugar that I know now that my body really does not care to have me eat anymore. I was on the highway with my husband having these horrible stomach pains. As we talked on the way home, it was becoming more evident to me that these foods, although enticing for some ridiculous reason, cannot be a part of my life anymore. Forget my fears of binging on them at parties, the harsh reality is that these foods MAKE ME FEEL LIKE CRAP!

So, long story short, on this overcast Sunday morning (I got up an hour ago, so it’s still morning to me!), I try to say goodbye to the snacky, salty comfort foods that I once had a love affair with. It’s like this is my Dear John Letter:

Dear chips, m&m’s, fatty dips, etc,

Although we have shared many binge-filled evenings on the couch at family gatherings, or just for the hell of it, I have to say good-bye to you. You have done nothing but fill me with low self esteem, swollen ankles and regret. Although you sometimes made me feel all comfy and safe inside, you were secretly working to make me feel bad about myself.

I don’t need you anymore, and frankly, have never needed you. I now realize that there are other things in my life that make me happy, and they make me AMAZING about myself.

So - farewell, my old love, but please know that I will not be missing you.

Sincerely,

Jessica